


Dolls and Reading

by Diary



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Awkward Conversations, Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Disabled Character, F/M, Family, Friendship/Love, Gen, Late Night Conversations, POV Dickon Tarly, POV Male Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 06:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7255627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam never went to the wall, but still, he and Gilly end up together. Told from Dickon's POV. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dolls and Reading

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Game of Thrones.

Dickon remembers Sam used to play with their sisters when they played with dolls. Father had been furious when he found out, but though not understanding (dolls were so boring), Dickon hadn’t cared.

This wildling offering Lord Commander Snow a bowl of soup largely resembles the dolls the servant girls used to play with. She’s all jutting bones, almost solid coloured brown eyes, and scraggly hair.

“Keep it for you and the baby,” he says.

Doing something close to a curtsey, she nods and scrambles away.

From what Dixon understands, they aren’t together. A year or two ago, she ran away from Craster with her baby son and ended up at the wall. Jon Snow had set her up in Mole's Town, and now, with a number of Craster’s daughter/wives being brought past the wall, she’s helping. Most of the other wildlings are willing to, at least, listen to her, and the lord commander trusts her.

He wonders if Sam would want him to trust her, too.

Sam hadn’t wanted him to come when Lord Commander Snow had written asking for men to spare in the relocation effort, but Dixon had been firm. He knows Tarly soldiers are among the bravest and strongest of any house, but- well, they’d have died honourably for his and Sam’s father.

He’ll make sure they do the same for Sam, and if need be, he will, too.

Their father was strong, smart, and brave. Sam is kind and smart. Already, their house is even richer than the Lannisters, Sam has several chains, and people from as far away as Dorne write asking his big brother for advice.

Unlike their father, though, Sam isn’t a fighter, and one area he isn’t quite as smart in is military strategy.

Dixon isn’t, either, but he is just as much of a fighter as their father was, and Lord Commander Snow seems to know what he’s doing and what needs to be done. Drinking is fine, but disorderly conduct can’t be excused with drunkenness. He doesn’t mind the soldiers visiting the Mole's Town brothel, but he’s made it clear no one is to touch the wildling women, and there are limits to what can be done with the prostitutes.

Sometimes, Dixon wonders if there’s something wrong with himself.

He’s not like Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon, but he’s not exactly like other men, either. He can recognise a pretty girl and enjoys looking at them, but he’s never wanted to kiss them or do other things with them.

His mother says he’s just a slow grower when it comes to romance, and he hasn’t been able to bring himself to talk to Sam, yet.

If he doesn’t start liking a proper noble girl soon- Sam is like normal men, but he’s so shy when it comes to most women who aren’t their mother and sisters. He does well with girl child servants and some of the older ones, and there’s a septa he’s always arguing with through letters, but put him in a room with an unmarried noble girl of marriageable age, and he becomes red and stuttering.

Someone has to get married and produce more Tarly heirs, and when their sisters do, they’ll probably take their husbands’ names and produce heirs for his house.

…

In the castle, he finds the doll wildling sitting with Maester Aemon. On the bed is a sleeping baby, and she has a big book in her lap. “And the one next to the- the ‘a’, if you cut a bowl in half, the top of it.”

“It sounds as though it might be a ‘C’, my dear.”

She looks up. “Hello.”

“Hello,” he greets. “You don’t know how to read?”

“She’s learning,” Maester Aemon says. “Slowly but surely. Not everyone has the same education you were privy to, my lord.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Dickon quickly says. “My brother, he loves to read, and he can do it in all different languages, but I still have trouble with it. Mostly because I find it boring.”

“But marks on paper can tell you things you’d never otherwise know,” she protests.

He shrugs. “If I need to know something, I imagine Sam or whoever’s command I’m serving under will tell me.”

She shakes her head. “I’m learning so that I can teach baby Aemon, someday.”

“Either sit and begin reading aloud so that I can explain the letters, Lord Tarly, or kindly leave us,” Maester Aemon says. “In an hour or two, I’ll be forced to sleep.”

Shrugging, Dickon picks up the book. “All that’s out there is rabbits. It’s not even really hunting to catch them.” Sinking down to the floor between their chairs, he asks, “Where do I start?”

…

Her name is Gilly, and after they leave Maester Aemon’s chambers, he asks, “Is that a flower?" and adds, "My brother talks about flowers a lot.”

“A gillyflower. You miss your brother.”

He doesn’t know what to say.

More than anything, he misses his father, but he also knows, if his father were still alive, Sam would likely be here at the wall and wearing black, and he doesn’t like this thought.

Tapping his sword, he says, “He gave me this. It’s called Heartsbane, and it’s one of the few pieces of Valyrian steel in the world. It was supposed to go to him after Father died, but before I came here, he said it was mine until I passed it on to one of my sons. I’ll kill every enemy of his I can with it.”

She shakes her head. “People like you are important, but there’s too much fighting between men, sometimes for such stupid things, in life.”

“I actually prefer hunting, but Mother says I can’t spend all day every day doing so,” he offers. “We’d have no more animals in the forests, she says. Used to, the leftovers would go to the hounds, but now, Sam gives most of it to the nearby villagers.”

“Your mother sounds kind and wise.”

“Yes. I suppose- that’s where Sam gets it from. I take more after our father.” 

…

As soon as the ravens arrive, Dickon goes to find Gilly. Unwrapping the scrolls, he says, “This is my family. One of our servants is very talented at drawing.”

She points. “That’s Sam, isn’t it? I can tell by the eyes.”

He looks. “Yes.”

“Who are the other boys and men?” Pointing, she continues, “That’s your mother. What are your sisters called?”

Sitting down, he tells her.

…

“Thank you for helping Maester Aemon with my lessons.”

He takes a breath. “Come with me.”

Giving him a look, she says, “Dickon- if I gave you the impression that I- that we-”

Realising what she’s getting at, he exclaims, “Gods no!”

“Um,” he quickly says, “Gilly, you’re pretty and nice, but I’ve never looked at you like that. Come with me for- Sam would like you. He’d teach you how to read and write better than me and Maester Aemon have been, and he’d give baby Aemon a proper education. He’s letting the older servants choose, but he decreed that all their young children have to be taught reading and writing, at least. Being a servant in our house would pay better than what you make as a tavern maid.”

“I’m not a maid."

“I don’t think Sam would care. You’d still get more.”

“And what would he want in return?”

“Not that,” he firmly assures her. “Sam’s never done anything inappropriate- well, most of what he does, now, with the servants Father used to say was inappropriate, but not that. He’s a virgin like me.”

“Then, why?”

“Because, he likes to help people, and he’d like hearing about wildling life from a real wildling. All he’s ever done is read about them.”

…

Lord Commander Snow tells him, “I’ve written to your brother. If she and the baby don’t arrive safely, I’ll know, and something will be done.”

Dickon recognises the threat, but mostly, he’s relieved he doesn’t have to struggle to write a letter out explaining things.

“Tarly men don’t rape, kill, or otherwise dishonour women, and we don’t go after children,” he replies.

He heard his father say this once, but until now, he’s never found himself repeating the words.

Sam’s never said this, but Dickon knows without a doubt he’s speaking for his big brother and, more importantly, the head of the Tarly family by saying them now.

Making him uneasy, the lord commander comments, “Aye, I’m sure they don’t under Samwell Tarly. I heard rumours, once, that your father wanted him to come here and take the black. We’d’ve been lucky to have him. Meaning no disrespect to your lord father, but perhaps, the rest of the realm is luckier that we don’t.”

Sam never says much about their father, but sometimes, Dixon wants to protest what others do. He wants to say, ‘My father wasn’t a bad man. I don’t like the way he treated my brother, but he was strong and always did what he thought was just. He was honest, and he loved my mother more than anything. He often tried to make my sisters happy, and he helped me to become a man.’

He supposes his father has no one to blame but himself, but it still hurts.

At least, he can be sure, when his future nephews grow, they’ll never have to feel as he does when people speak of their father.

…

Sam and their mother are waiting when he, Gilly, and baby Aemon arrive, and Sam immediately envelopes him in a hug. “Thank the seven you’ve arrived back safely!”

Kissing his cheek, Dickon responds, “Of course, I have, brother. Tarly men always come home to die.”

It was a hunting accident responsible for their father’s death, not a campaign, and he didn’t make it to the house, but he died on Tarly land, at least.

“Dickon,” his mother exclaims.

Kissing her, he says, “Sorry, Mother.” Moving over, he gently tugs Gilly forward. “Sam, this is Gilly and her son, Aemon Flowers. Lord Commander Snow said he’d written to you? And I don’t have to try to explain things?”

“Your brother isn’t the father,” Gilly pipes up.

He tugs her hair. “Even someone who wasn’t as smart as Sam would know that, Gilly. I only left about a year ago, and baby Aemon is almost three.”

Nodding, Sam gives them both a soft, kind smile. “Welcome to Horn Hill, Gilly. As long as you serve my family faithfully, you and your son will have the full protection of the Tarly family. Mother, why don’t you get her and the baby settled while I talk to Dickon?”

…

Soon after he gets back, one of the stable grooms, Payton, gives him a dirty look. “Why’d you have to bring that wildling, milord? Lady Melessa set her up to work in the kitchens and as one of Lady Talla’s sewing and sleeping maids, but she spends most of her time reading and writing with the Lord of Horn Hill.”

“I promised my brother would teach her how if she’d come."

Payton gives him a look. “Milord, you don’t mean to marry her, do you?”

“No, of course not. Sam- my brother will arrange a proper marriage for me when the time is right. It’ll be to a respectable woman of a noble house.”

“You- might not have noticed, but the way they look at one another- What if he were to marry her?”

Despite being born of father and daughter, baby Aemon is healthy and seems to be a smart little lad. Gilly and Sam could have even stronger, smarter boys together. Gilly isn’t noble, and other noble house might be insulted Sam would choose a wildling other one of theirs, but there’s still Dickon himself, and plenty of noblemen want to marry their sisters.

“If he can talk to her without stuttering or turning red, why shouldn’t he marry her? Talking is important to our lord.”

Payton sighs. “As you say, Lord Dickon.”

…

Hearing Sam singing, he peeks into Gilly’s room.

Aemon is sleepily cooing.

After the baby finally falls completely into sleep, Gilly kisses Sam’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“Mother used to sing to my sisters when they were little, but no one was allowed to sing to Dickon. My father thought- her singing to me had- anyway, after he’d cried himself to sleep, I’d sneak in and sing. It’s not much, not after the fact, but it was the best way I knew how to give him something.”

 _My brother has bravery to him, and he truly cares about me_ , hits Dickon.

Even the most vile of cowards might have a moment or two of bravery, and so, this realisation isn’t too important, but to know Sam loves him- He’d known Sam didn’t want him dead and was willing to do things to see him happy, but he’s rarely heard Sam talk about him the way Sam does their mother and sisters, and he’s never seen Sam looking at him the way he does them.

“It means something, still,” Gilly says. “When you have a cruel father, you have to do what you can when you can. You have to choose your battles carefully.”

“I’m glad you and Aemon were able to get away.”

Dickon can vaguely see the soft smile on Sam’s face.

“You’re very important, Gilly. Never doubt that, alright? Lord Commander Snow would have been lost without you, and you mean more to Dickon than I think he even realises.”

“What about you? Am I important to you?”

Dickon hears the hope in her voice, and unfortunately, he knows Sam isn’t going to answer right.

“Of course, you are. I care about everyone in my household.”

Sam does, yes, but- The few times Dickon smacked his brother, his father always refused to let him be punished for it, but now, Sam is the lord of the house, and Mother wouldn’t be near as understanding.

Gilly isn’t just a servant, and though Dickon would be happy with her as another sister, she isn’t like a sister to Sam. Everyone has seen how they laugh and smile and look softly at one another. Sam wouldn’t sing the baby of just any servant asleep- well, actually, he might, but he wouldn’t stay and sit holding the mother’s hand afterward- well, he wouldn’t like _this_.

“Have you received a letter back from Lord Commander Snow?”

Gilly starts to get up, and Dickon quickly moves out of the doorway.

“Yes,” he hears. “He said Mas- Maester Aemon was very impressed, but I can tell he was, too.”

“There’s no doubt,” Sam says. “You read more and more every day, and your spelling is wonderful.”

“But not my penmanship.”

“Some of the wisest men and women I’ve met have the most unreadable penmanship imaginable. Yours is just a little shaky. Once the new pens I’ve ordered arrive, you can try them. They won’t break as easily as the quills, but they won’t be as heavy and unyielding as the current ones. You’ll be able to hold them more comfortably, and that’ll help with guiding them.”

Dickon quietly slips away.

Unlike Payton, Dickon suddenly finds himself desperately hoping Sam and Gilly will marry.

…

One morning, as everyone is breaking fast, Sam announces, “Mother, Dickon, sisters, Prince Oberyn Martell has graciously invited us to visit him in Dorne. He and his wife- I mean, paramour, Ellaria Sand, wish to host us in the Water Gardens.”

Excitement breaks out, and Dickon half-listens to the talk of travel arrangement, new dresses, what would be an appropriate gift for the prince and his family, and so on. He briefly wonders where Gilly is. When she and Sam don’t eat together in the kitchens, she’s usually one of the ones serving the food.

“Unfortunately, I can’t leave with you, but Dickon will make sure you all arrive safely.”

“Wait, what? You’re staying behind, brother? Why?”

Giving him a gentle smile, Sam says, “As I was saying, sweet brother, I have some pressing business with a maester friend, but it’d be rude for us to not arrive in Dorne as quickly as possible after such a gracious invitation. You and Mother will represent me, and soon as I can, I’ll follow.”

“Will Gilly be staying here or going with us?”

“She and Aemon will go with you,” Sam answers.

Suddenly, Gilly appears, and Dickon has never seen her look so angry.

He’s also never seen Sam look so afraid since their father was still alive.

“You can’t make me leave,” she declares. “You can’t even make me stay here. I could take baby Aemon and leave you and your house, Samwell Tarly!”

Visibly swallowing, Sam softly answers, “Yes, you could. But I’ve made my decision, Gilly. If you do, please, go back to the wall. Back to Lord Commander Snow and Maester Aemon.”

“Sam,” Talla says. “What’s going on?”

“He’s breaking with the- the- Growing Strong,” Gilly exclaims.

Confused fear floods Dickon. “Sam, we’re breaking with the Tyrells? I- I don’t know much about such stuff, but- Um, I suppose, if you think it best, it’s best. Somehow. Won’t I need to stay, then? The fighting this will cause-”

“That’s the point,” Gilly interrupts. “He’s going to stay in Horn Hill, and you’re going to be safe with your sisters and mother. You should be the one to stay.”

“Gilly!” Sam exclaims.

“She’s right,” Dickon says. “Brother, just because I don’t understand this, I’ll help our men protect our home and lead them against whoever we need to go against.”

Their mother sighs, kisses both of their cheeks, gives Gilly a look, and drags the protesting girls away.

Sounding utterly tired, Sam says, “I have to do what I believe is right. The Lannisters are greedy, immoral tyrants who have reigned too long. And now, the Tyrells are forming an alliance with them. The Tarlys don’t need to sit on the Iron Throne. In fact, it’s better if none of us do. But it’s past time we helped put someone different on it.”

“Fine,” Dickon says. “But I should stay, and you should go.”

“I need you safe,” Sam says. “If I fall, and I probably will, you’ll be the new Lord of Horn Hill. And you’ll be able to protect our family. If I go, and you fall, who will protect them, then?”

“Tarly men,” Dickon answers. “The most loyal and bravest in the seven kingdoms.”

Looking as if she might murder them both, Gilly takes a deep breath. “Sam.”

Sam looks at her.

Reaching over, she puts his hand on her stomach. “I’ll go anywhere with the father of my children, but only if he’ll let me. We’re not married, and there are plenty of people who’ll say you might not be, but I’m telling you: You’re the only one besides Craster.”

Sam’s eyes are so wide, Dickon briefly wonders if it’s possible for them to actually fall out of his head.

“Y-you-you’re pregnant,” Sam stutters out.

Gilly nods. “I don’t want to,” she softly says, “but if you don’t go to Dorne with me or, at least, let us stay, I’ll take Aemon and our baby, and if you try to stop me, you’ll have to deal with Jon, too.”

Dickon kisses Gilly’s forehead. “You need to go, Sam. I’d die for my nephew or niece, but you’re asking too much for me to be the father you should be. Take Gilly and the others, and let me defend Horn Hill and put someone better on the Iron Throne.”

…

Fear builds in Dickon.

No one’s leaving, everyone has somehow heard about the baby, and he hears a rumour about his mother yelling at Sam (she’s never yelled at any of them) about not having a bastard grandchild and how no one can be forced to take holy vows and something about a dress she thinks Gilly would look lovely in.

Father, he thinks in exasperation, would understand.

Father wouldn’t care about Sam or the baby and would insist on staying due to being the Lord of Horn Hill, but he’d understand why Dickon should stay.

…

Finally, the fear begins to ease.

Sam is on the ship with their mother and sisters.

Holding a cloth animal over a jumping Aemon, Dickon takes in Gilly's sad smile.

“Good luck," she says. "Please, try not to die. You’re one of my closet friends.”

“I’ll try,” he promises. Hugging her with his free arm, he kisses her head. “I’ll protect your home, my lady. Our home, sweet sister. Take care of Sam and his baby.”

“I will.”

Swinging the toy, he says, “Come on, Aemon. Let’s get Mummy settled on the ship, and then, you can have this back.”

Following, Aemon starts to clearly argue why he should get it now, and Dickon reflects, aside from the blond hair and the much clearer fighting spirit, Aemon could certainly be mistaken for Sam’s son.

…

Ravens come, and Dickon sighs when he sees the coloured sketch of Gilly and Sam standing in front of a septon. Gilly’s much bigger, and Sam’s cloak is wrapped around her.

If he could see her in person, he’d know for sure, but based on the sketch, he thinks Aemon will soon have a baby sister.

He’d be disappointed if it were his, but he thinks Sam might actually prefer a girl to a boy.

Taking the letters and sketches, he goes into the dining hall and rings the gong to silence the soldiers. “A toast,” he declares, “to our lord, my brother’s, marriage and to the soon-to-be heir to Horn Hill.”

After the toast, excitement breaks out, and he shows the sketches and letter around. “After the dragon queen is seated on the Iron Throne, she’s promised to decree Aemon a Tarly. Of course, his trueborn brothers and sisters will be ahead of him to succeed, but he’ll share the same name with the rest of them. Any Tarly, true or baseborn, can go very far.”

“Aye,” one of the men says. “Lord Samwell has always been a father to the young lord even before he and Lady Gilly became involved. Here’s to Lord Samwell and Lady Tarly, and to their brother, our commander, Lord Dickon.”

“To Lord Samwell and Lady Gilly,” Dickon agrees. He raises his goblet. “And to the battles we’ll soon win for them. First in Battle.”

“First in Battle. To Lord Samwell and Lady Gilly,” everyone echoes.  


End file.
